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Dennis

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God's Garden

The flowers in God's garden
are wonderful and rare
but there is one so beautiful,
it's quite beyond compare.
God gave to us this flower,
a gift from up above.
"Take great care of this", he said,
so we tended it with love.
It budded here on earth
a little while ago,
but it was bound for heaven,
so we had to let it go.
Some flowers are here for years and years,
for some it's just a few.
So remember when you have these flowers
They're God's gift to you.

~ unknown ~

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From the heart of a bereaved Mother
This Is Normal For Me Now

Normal is having tears waiting behind every smile when you realize someone important is missing from all the important events in your family's life.

Normal for me is trying to decide what to take to the cemetery for Birthdays Christmas, Thanksgiving, New Years, Valentine's Day, July 4th and Easter.

Normal is feeling like you know how to act and are more comfortable with a funeral than a wedding or birthday party... yet feeling a stab of pain in your heart when you smell
the flowers and see the casket.

Normal is feeling like you can't sit another minute without getting up and screaming, because you just don't like to sit through anything.

Normal is not sleeping very well because a thousand what if's & why didn't I's go through your head constantly.

Normal is reliving that day continuously through your eyes and mind, holding your head to make it go away.

Normal is having the TV on the minute I walk into the house to have noise, because the silence is deafening.

Normal is staring at every child who looks like he is my child's age.
And then thinking of the age he would be now and not being able to imagine it.
Then wondering why it is even important to imagine it, because it will never happen.

Normal is every happy event in my life always being backed up with sadness lurking close behind, because of the hole in my heart.

Normal is telling the story of your child's death as if it were an everyday, commonplace activity, and then seeing the horror in someone's eyes at how awful it sounds.
And yet realizing it has become a part of my "normal".

Normal is each year coming up with the difficult task of how to honor your child's memory and his birthday and survive these days.
And trying to find the balloon or flag that fit's the occasion.
Happy Birthday? Not really.

Normal is my heart warming and yet sinking at the sight of something special my child loved. Thinking how he would love it, but how he is not here to enjoy it.

Normal is having some people afraid to mention my child.

Normal is making sure that others remember him.

Normal is after the funeral is over everyone else goes on with their lives, but we continue to grieve our loss forever.

Normal is weeks, months, and years after the initial shock, the grieving gets worse sometimes, not better.

Normal is not listening to people compare anything in their life to this loss, unless they too have lost a child.
Nothing... Even if your child is in the remotest part of the earth away from you - it doesn't compare.
Losing a parent is horrible, but having to bury your own child is unnatural.

Normal is taking pills, and trying not to cry all day, because I know my mental health depends on it.

Normal is realizing I do cry everyday.

Normal is disliking jokes about death or funerals, bodies being referred to as cadavers, when you know they were once someone's loved one.

Normal is being impatient with everything and everyone, but someone stricken with grief over the loss of your child.

Normal is sitting at the computer crying, sharing how you feel with chat buddies who have also lost a child.

Normal is feeling a common bond with friends on the computer in England, Australia, Canada, the Netherlands and all over the USA,
But yet never having met any of them face to face.

Normal is a new friendship with another grieving mother, talking and crying together over our children and our new lives.

Normal is not listening to people make excuses for God. "God may have done this because..."
I love God, I know that my child is in heaven, but hearing people trying to think up excuses as to why healthy children
Were taken from this earth is not appreciated and makes absolutely no sense to this grieving mother.

Normal is being too tired to care if you paid the bills, cleaned the house, did laundry or if there is any food.

Normal is wondering this time whether you are going to say you have three children or two, because you will never see this person again
and it is not worth explaining that my child is in heaven.
And yet when you say you have two children to avoid that problem, you feel horrible as if you have betrayed your child.

Normal is avoiding McDonald's and Burger King playgrounds because of small, happy children that break your heart when you see them.

Normal is asking God why he took your child's life instead of yours and asking if there even is a God.

Normal is knowing I will never get over this loss, in a day or a million years.

And last of all, Normal is hiding all the things that have become "Normal" for you to feel, so that everyone around you will think that you are "Normal".

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Author Unknown:

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These are some Beautiful Gifts we have recieved from Friends.
Click on each gift to visit their website.




Thank you, Susie and Angel Jason!




Thank you, Susie and Angel Jason!


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Because I could not offer you much in the way of a website up until now.
As you know Dennis, I didn't even own a computer, much less know how to operate one.
I have got your Angel Anniversaries from 2005 through 2007 on this one page.
I did attempt a Memorial Website for you in 2004.
But it was a pre-built page and didn't have a lot of options.
I have been working hard trying to learn all I can about html and building a website.
I was never happy with the other one and I knew I could do this.
I knew I had to. For you and for me... I think I've finally got it!
So from now on you will have a Memorial page for every Angelversary and Birthday.

I Love you sweetie, mom.

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2006 - (9) Years Without You:
Has it been that long? Or was it just yesterday that we set and ate together, laughed together and cried together?
Or was it the day before that we said I love you, before we hung up the phone?
Or the week before, when we went shopping together and stopped for a cone of icecream?
Or was it the week before that, when we got your first hair cut?
Or was it, when I met your first girl friend.
Or was it when, you laughed so hard at me, while I was flying a kite during tornato warnings?
Or a month or so before that, when I doctored your poison ivy?
Or was it when, I seen you take your first step, or heard you say your first word?
Or before that, when I fed you your first bottle of formula or patted your back until you burped?
Or was it when I heard your first cry, and the doctor said, we've got a baby boy?

Was it just yesterday, that I had My Beautiful Son beside me?
Talking, Smiling, Laughing, Hugging, Joking, Kissing and enjoying what life had to offer.

Has it been that long?
Written in memory and dedicated to my son,
Dennis Ralph Yarbrough Jr.

2/11/06 ~ Mama

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Thank you, Susie and Angel Jason!

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2007 - (10) Years Without You:
I wake up every morning and see all the things around me. I go about my chores and pour my coffee and get ready to start work. My life is like a tape, always set for rewind. I use to have a life that I looked forward to but now I just remember what it use to be like, when you were still here. I go to bed and say a prayer asking God to look after you and hoping you're doing well. All the while wishing you were still here with me. I think about you every single day. I miss you so much. I wish I could see you, touch you, kiss you, talk with you and see you smile. If I could have choosen anything for us besides this, I would have. It's so hard living without you...I love you my Angel, Always and Forever...

2/11/07 - Mama

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Thank you, Susie and Angel Jason!


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Music By: Jo Dee Messina/If Heaven Was Needing A Hero

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This Site is Owned, Maintained and Updated by Elena (Dennis' Mom)